Questioning

I’m reading “On Writing” by Stephen King and it’s kicking my ass.

The book makes me question my confidence as a writer. He talks so much about his love of the craft, about how a person needs to read and write all the time, and enjoy it.

I read and write according to a schedule. I have a ‘to do’ item on my phone that reminds me to write. I write my daily quota and am done with it for the day. I read according to a ‘to do’ item on my phone as well. I read and then check it off my list for the day. I don’t do these things for pleasure. I do them because they’re on my ‘to do’ list and I know I have to do them to be a good writer. If I didn’t have them on my list, I don’t know if I would do them every day.

The last time I had any joy in reading was in middle school. I was a veracious reader. I would have a book in my hands every single chance I could get. I would make opportunities to read.

It makes me wonder if I’m really a writer. I put in my time, but I don’t seem to enjoy what I’m doing. Where is the joy that I once had?

Well, I’m determined to get that back again. I’m going to dig deep and find the joy inside me so that the items on my ‘to do’ list happen organically and naturally rather than being forced into everyday.

I am a writer, goddamn it. And I’m going to earn the right to say that. I’m going to do the work, I’m going to put in my time, and I’m going to make it happen.

Leave a comment below if you’ve ever struggled with your writing, or with a project, or career, or anything like that and needed to pull yourself up by your bootstraps to keep on going. A little inspiration would be nice!

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