Time Wasted

I have last year’s journals sitting here on the floor of my office waiting to be reviewed. I’m putting it off because I’m afraid of what I might find. Did I squander my time? Did I waste it? I guess I’m afraid to know.

My time is so precious to me, I share it with as few as possible. My husband, my daughter, and that’s about it. But, I’m burdened by the truth that you’re supposed to share it with others. Sharing time with other people is completely connected to building community, which is a prerequisite for being a creative. I keep telling myself that I MUST have community in order to survive, because too many times I get inside my head and get lost in there. I should have a community around me that inspires me and keeps me grounded so I don’t get lost. But I don’t have that (yet). All because, like a miser with his gold, I horde my time.

But one of my goals for 2019 is to let go of some of my time. To give up some of it to join a community of like-minded creatives, and then share even more of it to share their experiences. And, hopefully, through those relationships have mutual enrichment of our particular artistic endeavors. That’s the ultimate goal, anyway. To make each of us better artists through our relationships with one another.

And all of that takes time. Spending time with each other. Ideally IRL, but online can be ok, too. Only time can build real relationships. And I believe now that time spent without relationships is time wasted.